So there I was standing in Powell’s bookstore with a wad of cash and nothing I wanted to read. A voracious reader from the time I was a munchkin and I needed a fix. I just happened across a little book called, “Meditation in Action” by Chogyam Trungpa. I took it home fascinated. I gradually began reading as much as I possibly could on the subject yet had not yet begun actual sitting. After a few weeks of reading as much as I could I locked myself in my bathroom with the aim of “enlightenment”. Hell I was twenty and impatient, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I sat on a pillow and forced my legs into a flesh pretzel and started counting breaths while tears of pain streamed down my tense and sweaty cheeks. Shaking the whole time I managed to sit through maybe three or four breaths before the pain was more than I could bear.

The next day I decided I would just sit until I couldn’t take the pain anymore. I gradually was able to increase my time to ten breaths. It was really probably something like fifteen if you want the truth. It went something like this.

1….2….3….”Wow I’m doing it”…”SHIT, what breath was I on”…..ok….”one….two….three….Man the chick who sits in front of me in Philosophy is hot, I’d sure like to…SHIT…did it again. One….two….three….four….Damn my knees hurt….SHIT….

You can imagine how this worked. Now when I sit the chick in the white pants is someone I saw on the train, or some problem I’m dealing with at work but I’m able to focus a little better. It goes through cycles sometimes, when I’m doing well my meditation carries over into my life, and sometimes my life carries over into meditation. One of my Aikido teachers once told me that the sign that you’re developing is when Aikido and life merge. I’m pretty sure this holds true with my sitting practice as well.

One of my favorite ways to practice now is to sit, count ten slow breaths just to get in touch with my body, and start the relaxation process. It starts by relaxing my jaw and feeling the muscles in my face and head. My eyes, ears relax the brain, down the spinal cord to my extremities. I then create a “relax” bubble around me and move into my Insight practice.

Peace always.

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