Extracting ourselves from negativity.
So there I was sitting in a tin can, and the world was tumbling around me. My blood pressure was high, and I thought my head would launch in water rocket fashion to a comfortable orbit outside the ozone layer and I stopped. Silence…what’s really the problem here. It’s certainly not the 180 pound winer standing in front of me. It’s how I’m reacting to the winer. I took some breaths as realization bent me over her knee and delivered a well-deserved spanking. I was allowing this situation to effect my mood. WTF my inner adolescent texted me.
Proceeding to relax my scalp as I listened to this person rant about something meaningless to me but obviously important to him and it all struck home. What’s important to me? Do we really take time to ask ourselves this question on a daily basis or do we get so caught up in the daily minutia that we refrain from investing our time and energy in what we want/need?
Do we take the initiative to pull ourselves out of negative conversations that aren’t serving us or the people who may be ranting because we feel obligated to listen? Obviously, we don’t want to be insensitive but how often have we been in conversations where the person across from us is supplying so much negativity that we feel we may very well jump out of our scratchy meat suit?
I recently read a blog, and this woman tells about a man who comes into Starbucks giving off some of those vibes that should be buried somewhere in central Nevada and how it changed the whole mood of the cafe. What do we bring to our environment?
We have the option to duck out of negativity.
There’s nothing that says we have to resonate with the negativity that’s forcing it’s way into our vibratory field. I’ve recently come to a point with my clients that when I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall trying to get my concept across that I simply give them the information and have them call or e-mail me later for rewrites or an explanation. It makes everyone’s life a little easier.
Be aware.
Be aware of how you’re feeling when you find yourself in a conversation. Feel if it’s serving you or the other person. If it’s not. learn how to gently tell them that you prefer not to go into this topic. Is it selfish? Maybe, but chances are it will strengthen the relationship with a little transparency.
One of my favorite clients has a habit of just railing on people after they leave while smiling and being overtly nice to them while they are in his presence. This is all fine but if he does it to everyone chances are he does the same thing when I leave, so one day as he was telling me how stupid so-and-so was I simply told him no. There was an awkward moment. The kind that makes you want to pick all your stuff up and just run out the door. And then he just nodded. I haven’t heard any of the rumbling about others in his presence since.
The beauty of this world is that we can choose the experience we have and choose what it means to us.
What will we choose today?
Peace Always.
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we are all invited by others to respond in a certain way whether it be to negativity or to other uncomfortable position. Awareness of the invitations that we receive is important and how we avoid unhelpful reciprocation and remain true to ourselves is often the tricky bit.
My wife calls it “negative chi”, and by that she means the bad energy I give off when I get upset. It’s funny how some people, who themselves are constantly riding an emotional rollercoaster, are so sensitive to other people’s mood…
I tend to think we speak to ourselves through our negativity. Like try to get us to hear what we’re saying because someone else wants to get a word in edgewise. The meaning I give to things doesn’t always mean what I think it does. The glory of language, man.
Thanks for the comments.
Ultimately the meaning we give to a situation is exactly that “the meaning we give” because circumstances are neutral by nature. It’s our interpretation of them that provides meaning. And this meaning is ours. You hit the nail on the head “The glory of language, man.”
It’s easy to loose perspective when we get caught up in other peoples dramas. I even do this with the TV. That’s why I don’t watch much of it. Some people really love their dramas and would be lost without them…we all are this way to an extent. I know I am.
Can we talk more about “speaking to ourselves through negativity”? I’m thinking of this as feeling our emotions (negative or positive) as a compass. These emotions serve us, no doubt.
If anyone has time take a gander at Ted’s blog.
http://returntodogen.blogspot.com/
In my spiritual world I realize when I let negativity in, it closes the door on good feelings and in turn good outcomes.
I find that ignoring is ignoring if it’s positive or negative. And ignoring can be good food for suffering.
If I’m speaking to myself I’ve learned that speech doesn’t always sound the way I want it to and doesn’t always mean what I think it means.